Between The Walls Of The Apocalypse

Between the walls of the Apocalypse
A punk crowd gathers, but I don’t fit
I’m standing here with suit on hips
In Dego’s on the West Crosscauseway
I’m terrified on this tourist trip
My punk reputation is blown to bits
I meet TV and he’s looking real sick
He says, “I’ll feel foolish singing my way”

Grotesque heads, on shelves on high
I don’t know what we’re doing here
Can’t motivate, just want to go
Let us go or watch us die
Grotesque heads, one with a wounded eye

In this punk-horror shop on the edge of town
The punk force rallies, but TV’s a weary frown
All he wants to do is get his head down
He’s sick, not slept a wink since payday
He’s taking requests this Sassenach proud
But the legends like an Uzi with an empty round
Jesus Christ! TV’s drawn a crowd
But he could sleep like a log ‘till May Day…

…SHOW TIME!

“Tomahawk Cruise” screams a punk behind me. TV delivers an explosive Tomahawk Cruise on his unplugged acoustic guitar.

TV breaks into the first few countrified notes of Thin Green Line. I’m confused… TV has told me that as he got no sleep on the previous night (due to Edinburgh being a touch colder than that London) and he is therefore only going to play two songs and then move on to Leven. So why the hell is second song his one country song? Never predict this man...

…Never underestimate The Great Man either, the punks love it and cheer loudly.

Time to go?…No – it’s time for another hard-core punk classic…We Want The Road?????

I love this song and later tell TV that I was going to shout We Want The Road out at Leven. Meanwhile, in the Apocalypse UK punk-horror shop in Edinburgh, TV clearly no longer wants the road.

TV has come alive, he is fighting through the pain barrier and moving from one of life’s passengers to a driver. Driver And Passenger is sung with such passion that the veins protrude from TV’s neck, nicely mirroring the horror head masks behind him.

TV glances round at the special fake leather jackets behind him and bursts into one of my current favourites, the anti-vivisection masterpiece – Lies. “No ordinary monkey, he’s going to be a beauty queen,” – what a powerful line. I shout “Nice one” as TV hits the closing note.

“Great British Mistake” bellows a punk right in my ear. “Great British Mistake? On an acoustic guitar with no amp – you must be joking?” replied TV…

“The great British mistake was looking for a way out, was getting complacent…” TV sang. His words swooped over Edinburgh like a bird, they climbed the high branches and observed, and swooped back down to his mouth and out into our souls. TV’s words cast a shadow that swallowed us whole, they swooped, climbed, clinged, sucked and again they swallowed us whole. We felt drip-fed and lost our world, even the punk hard boys and those three magazine girls. The framed adverts on the wall were illegal. TV was like an outlaw, his motive was a spell from a magician and he grew like a genie out of the bottle. The devil horror heads were behind him, you could see them in the mirror. The punks had chains on their right hands.

We had to come to terms now! The song is almost over… “How can they avoid it?”  

Third Term brought us crashing back down to Earth, with the thought of even more Tony Blair.

The Future Used To Be Better blasts at us next as TV continues to focus on playing songs not played at Edinburgh the night before. As usual I see my ex-bosses toothy grin flash before my mind at another promise broken.

TV touches the audience with his explanation of Gather Your Things And Go. Is this a set list sent from heaven or what?

The Runaway Train Driver is sent straight to hell as TV climaxes the set, careering of the track at speed.

Wow! Awesome stuff!

Edinburgh yet again receives a set four to five times as long as everyone was expecting.

Just after the applause dies down, Dego shouts “Hey you in the suit with the camera, can you take a photo of us?” “I was thinking of doing that” I responded trying my best to look cool in a suit in a punk-horror shop. TV came to my rescue by explaining that I had come to the gig after work and hadn’t had time to get changed “He doesn’t always look like that” he concluded. Thanks Teev, next time can’t you pretend that I’m a member of The Hives or your chaffeur, photographer or manger or some such… I thought to myself.

To add to my embarrassment the camera batteries went after only one punk crowd pic! They all laugh and jeer…

As I made a hasty retreat in seach for a new battery the legend signed posters, books and CD’s.

On returning Dego gave me the Apocalypse gig poster from the window and a flyer with his email address on the back. “Please email me the photo’s Tj” Dego pleads, I promise to. We both leave the walls of the Apocalypse UK, feeling on top of the world.

This driver and passenger want the road. Jocktown and Scotland gig 3 it’s show time!